Take my faults and foolishness and work through them. . .

From today's reading: O God, you know my foolishness, and my faults are not hidden from you. Psalm 69:6

Sometimes I feel so inept. I often wish I were smarter, knew more, or had better people skills. I often feel lost in a crowd, and sometimes don't have a clue what to say to someone. And I am often afraid that what I do say might seem trite or even inappropriate. It would be really easy to save myself from the possibility of failure by not doing anything risky. My foolishness is in believing that I have something to say and I sometimes get "puffed up" with my successes. My faults are in not always trusting God to speak through me and having all the fears listed above. God knows my foolishness and he knows my faults and God chooses to work through me anyway.

God knows our faults - we don't have to tell him what they are - but - he does want us to be open enough to admit our faults and to lift them up to him so that he can heal us and work through those faults. During this period of Lent, he wants to strengthen all our weaknesses. He is so faithful to minister to us and through us and just to be with us through everything.

Lord, take my foolishness and work through it to show forth insight and wisdom, Take my faults and help me to overcome them so that I may be a blessing in your name, just as you always provide a blessing to me. Amen.

Pray first, then act.

From today's reading: 'All things are lawful for me,' but not all things are beneficial. 'All things are lawful for me,' but I will not be dominated by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

Here is a scripture that is right out of the Anglican handbook - where we get our idea of moderation in all things. My addictive personality shows up most often when I find a character I really like in a novel or TV series - I just want to read every book or watch every TV episode - and I hate it when it ends. . .

Paul knew that anything, even good things, if we become obsessed with them, will effectively replace God in our life. When anything (other than God) begins to dominate our life, we need to take a step back and make sure that it has not replaced God as the primary driving force of our life. We all need balance in our life. When our life gets out of balance, we risk spiraling out of control, physically, spiritually and emotionally. One way to deal with this is in all things pray first, then act.

Today we remember Edward King, priest & bishop in England. I really resonated with what I read about him. He said, "It is not necessary to be always thinking directly of God. Indeed, it is not possible. Sometimes, of course, we ought to, and can do this, but at other times we must give our minds to what we are doing, even if it is playing and amusement. . . A brief prayer is also possible during work and play, but in the main you should be satisfied with commending your work or play to God, and then yourself into it heartily."

I came to this conclusion long ago as I was headed into a family dispute situation -- on the way I prayed hard for God's guidance, and then gave myself over to handling whatever happened, trusting God to be in it.

Dear Lord, I will get busy today, and I will forget to pray, but I ask you now to be with me and to work through me in all things today. Amen.

God gives the growth

From today's reading: 'Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path. . . Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil. . . Other seed fell among thorns. . . Other seed fell into good soil and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirty and sixty and a hundredfold.' Mark 4:3-8

I am not struck so much by the result of each type of soil, but that the seed was sown in all types of soil. We have to remember that the result of our ministry is not up to us - and if something we do does not take root, it is not "our fault." If we are faithful to sow the word, if we are faithful to do what God calls us to do - then we have been successful. We have to remember that God will bring about the growth in his own time. We may or may not ever see the result of our planting, but it doesn't mean that it was wasted. Often times, the word is planted at exactly the right time, but it may take years for it to be remembered and to germinate.

I remember seeing a TV show once about the desert, where it may rain once every 20 or 30 years, and the seeds of the desert plants lie dormant in the desert sand, ready to grow and bloom when the rain finally comes. The other image that comes to mind is being on the lava flats in Hawaii and seeing a single plant with flowers in the midst of a black sea of lava. It is indeed amazing what God can bring forth if we are faithful to answer his call to mission and ministry - in our back yards or around the world.

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For those of you who read my blog on Monday, my friend, Leah, is off of the ventilator and doing quite well. Thank you for whatever prayers you may have offered up on her behalf.

God uses our weaknesses

From today's reading: Now Joseph was governor over the land; it was he who sold to all the people of the land. And Joseph's brothers came and bowed themselves before him with their faces to the ground. Genesis 42:6

And so, Joseph's dream came true and his brothers did bow down to him although they did not know it was him. And we have to remember that this could not have happened if Joseph had not been sold into slavery in Egypt.

We all have areas of weakness in our lives. Joseph's was that he was something of a braggart. God used it to bring about his will. What I have found out is that God does use our weaknesses to bring about the things he wants to happen. I remember a time when he used my low self-esteem to keep me from going off with several friends. He used that occasion to keep me available to minister to someone who had just lost their spouse.

We can't always be the person we think we should be, but even in our weakness, God can and will use us to bring about his purpose. And God loves us and accepts us just as we are, always helping us to grow into the fullness of his plan for our life.

I will trust in you.

From today's reading: Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust and will not be afraid. . . Psalm 56:3-4b

Sometimes this is harder to do than to say. . . My friend, Leah, lies in a hospital bed, on a ventilator to help her breathe. Whenever she begins to come out from under the sedation, she just panics and she trys to do anything to get rid of the tube down her throat. I'm not sure I would be any different.

We spend so much of our life being told that we need to be self-sufficient - and part of the human condition is to feel like we need to be in control of our life, of our destiny, of all that is happening around us. When we are not in control, it's hard not to be afraid.

Rachael is a special needs child, a little over a year old. I have come to the conclusion that her primary purpose in life is to be loved, by God and by those around her. She gives us a perfect example of what it means to trust; to trust in God and to trust in those around her. She lives each moment for the moment without any concern about what comes next. When it comes to trusting, we can take an example from Rachael, living in the moment, trusting God to take care of what comes next.

Heavenly, Father, most loving God, be with Leah this morning as they wean her off the ventilator. Lord, breathe the breath of life into her and fill her, that she may be strengthened and restore to fullness of health. Amen.

We sit at table

From today's reading: And as he sat at dinner in Levi's house, many tax collectors and sinners were also sitting with Jesus and his disciples for there were many who followed him. Mark 2:15

One complaint I heard just the other day was a common complaint about church - "I don't go because its nothing but hypocrites there." In our lesson today, the scribes are complaining because Jesus is sitting at table with tax collectors and sinners. According to the Christian teaching, we are all sinners, so it would be a little hard not to find hypocrites among the sinners in church. The grace is that God sits with us anyway and invites us to come in and stay. First Corinthians 3:16 tells us, "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?" Isn't it amazing that God can use sinful people - you and me - as his temple here on earth? Created in the image of God and yet sinners in the flesh - and God invites us to come in and sit at table with him. God wants to fellowship with us regardless of who are and what we have done. And when you look at the person next to you, remember that they are just like you - sinners in the flesh, yet still loved by God.

Those who plant and water

From today's reading: I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. . . For we are God's servants, working together; you are God's field, God's building. . . For no one can lay any foundation other than the one that has been laid; that foundation is Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:6,9,11

I thought of the phrase, "It takes a whole village to raise a child..." and we can co-opt it to say that it takes a whole church to raise a Christian. Hopefully we are not formed by one person only. Because we are so limited as human beings, it takes many people to show us the true nature of God. As I was growing up, there was Mom and Marjorie who taught us Sunday School; Fr. Kracke who ministered to me in a time of spiritual need; Fr. Fred who preached the first sermons that inspired me; Fr. Vincent who affirmed my call to ministry; and many others who have shaped and formed me over the years. Each one is special in their own way, but it has taken all of them to help me become who I am today. We are indeed the field and as we grow up, we become the workers, the servants who are growing the next field. The foundation is indeed Jesus Christ and each one of us keeps building on that foundation so that those who come after us can see more clearly the truth of who God is and what God is like. Remember those people who have planted and watered in your life and give God thanks for each one.